What being Transgender is like for me.

What does Transgender mean?

A Transgender, or Trans, person is a person whose gender identity and/or expression doesn’t match the sex they were assigned at birth, which can also be known as gender dysphoria. Gender Dysphoria is a medical term used to describe the feeling of unease or discomfort caused by the mismatch of the biological sex and a person’s gender identity. Most Trans people will experience gender dysphoria throughout their life in some way or another, but those feeling can also fluctuate and change on a day-to-day basis. There are two different kinds of Transgender people:

• Trans men: who occasionally use terms such as Transmasc, or FTM (female to male) to describe their transition process.
• And Trans women: who occasionally use terms such as Transfem, or MTF (male to female) to describe their transition process.
• There are also gender non-conforming people or non-binary/enby people who fall under the “Trans umbrella” but aren’t exclusively Trans themselves.

 

The process of transitioning as a Transgender person:

Regardless of whether you’re a trans woman or trans man there are similar experiences that each Trans person will have throughout their entire transitioning process from one gender to another. Some of these experiences may be social in nature or more medical. For example:

Social transitioning could mean:

• Coming out to friends/family
• Changing your name that friends/family use
• Changing your pronouns that people use
• Starting to identify and express yourself as the gender you feel most comfortable in.

Whereas Medical transitioning would include things like:

• Top surgery (removal or adding of breast tissue/implants)
• Bottom surgery (surgery on the lower half of your body/genitalia)
• Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) – injections of Testosterone/Oestrogen into the body
• Puberty blockers (usually given to trans kids/teens to stop puberty and avoid distress)

There are also many government-based aspects to the process of transitioning as a Trans person too, which may include:

• Legally getting your name changed through Deedpoll.
• Changing the information on your drivers’ license/passport
• Getting a gender recognition certificate (a legal document that will change your medical records to state the gender/sex you are most comfortable identifying as)

 

What being Transgender is like for me, as a Trans man:

• Long waiting lists for gender clinics, I applied in 2018 and am yet to even have my first appointment with them.
• Severe Gender Dysphoria – feeling uncomfortable and wrong in my own skin constantly which also has a negative impact on my daily life and mental health.
• Getting upset when people misgender me or use my deadname (name I was called before coming out and transitioning)
• Dressing and expressing myself as male through my clothes, my name, my pronouns, my haircut, etc.
• Since I am the middle child in my family (older sister and younger brother) I never really felt like I fit in as I didn’t like to wear dresses/makeup like my older sister, and I liked sports and football a lot like my younger brother.
• I used to spend family holidays telling other kids I met that my name was “Jack,” or “Peter,” and I was a boy from the age of five onwards.
• I was told that it was just a phase, and I would grow out of it as I got older.
• My childhood was spent wearing a lot of girl’s clothing from birth until I was around 4-5 years old. Which then changed to boys clothes from 4-5-11 years old.
• I was bullied a lot in high school for wearing the “boys” uniform and having short hair so I grew my hair out long and got my mum to buy me the “girls” uniform thinking it would make the bullying stop and that I would “fit in with the other girls” better. It didn’t, instead it made me miserable and even more confused. I don’t have many family photos of myself from ages 11-16 because of forcing myself to look and be feminine, I hated the way I looked in those photos and never let people take hardly any of me.
• I then came out as Trans at 17 years old to my closest friend in college and didn’t come out to family until I was 20 years old, which is when I got my name changed legally to Tyler.

Areas of my transition process that I could focus on for my final major project:

• Getting my name changed legally, could photograph the Deedpoll certificate I have.
• Documenting old family photos of me as a baby/child/teenager – this could then be used almost like a timeline documenting all the way to the present day.
• Photos of me, my brother, and my sister both before and now – showing the different versions people expect me to be like but I’m “just me.”
• Process of shaving and cutting my hair – I could combine these images with typography and little text excerpts explaining the reasoning behind it – being afraid of barbershops/hair salons due to the gender stereotypes within both so it’s easier to cut my hair alone.
• A half photo of one side of my face – could include the Transgender flag colours somehow?
• Wearing a binder to compress my chest – symbolising the gender dysphoria I have with that area of my body?
• Could photograph my Drivers’ License? The first legal document besides my Deedpoll certificate with my name and pronouns on it.